


Remedy (Heavily Revised Edition)

by Skyshadow3246, Wolfloner



Series: Finding Beauty in Negative Spaces [21]
Category: Iron Man (Movies), Norse Religion & Lore, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Angst, Background Peter Parker/Wade Wilson - Freeform, Bondage, Canon-Typical Violence, Feels, Hand Jobs, Hurt/Comfort, If You Squint - Freeform, Implied/Referenced Torture, M/M, Magic, Past Loki/Sigyn - Freeform, Past Torture, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Self-Harm, Shower Sex, Tattoos, briefly, minor steve/bucky
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-01
Updated: 2018-11-01
Packaged: 2019-08-14 07:40:39
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,645
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16488458
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Skyshadow3246/pseuds/Skyshadow3246, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wolfloner/pseuds/Wolfloner
Summary: A heavily revised/rewritten version of part 21 of Finding Beauty in Negative Spaces. Now with 100% less abusive relationships. (I shouldn't make jokes about that, sorry.)“You’re Váli’s mother.” Tony blurted out as soon as understanding clicked into place. Her name was familiar because Loki had mentioned her before.





	Remedy (Heavily Revised Edition)

**Author's Note:**

> For the long version of where I've been the last few weeks, let me direct you to my tumblr page: You can follow my fanfiction on tumblr, [Haarii Writes 11/01/18](https://haarii-the-writer.tumblr.com/post/179659251904/haarii-writes-110118)
> 
> Short version: Hated where the story was going. Scrapped it. Ta-da! 
> 
> Big thanks to everyone who's stuck around after that debacle, lol.
> 
> There's a LOT of new content here, and some smaller edits to the first two scenes.
> 
> As always: I love all the kudos and comments, and highly appreciate constructive criticism. If you see any mistakes or things that ought to be tagged but aren't, let me know!

_ I don't need a friend, I need to mend so far away _ __  
_ So come sit by the fire and play a while, but you can't stay too long _ __  
_ It aches in every bone, I'll die alone, but not for pleasure _ _  
_ __ I see my heart explode, it's been eroded by the weather here

\--Seether,  _ Remedy _

 

**Tony**

 

Tony’s mind felt warm and fuzzy and content. He and Loki were stretched out on the couch, Loki having wrapped himself possessively around him. Ostensibly they were watching a movie but he hadn’t been paying any attention to it. His mind wandered aimlessly and he wondered if it were possible to never have to leave the comfort of the couch ever again.

 

“Mr. Stark, there is a situation that needs your immediate attention,” JARVIS’s voice broke through Tony’s idle thoughts.

 

“Oh, fuck me,” he groaned. “What’s wrong?”

 

The movie vanished from the screen and was replaced with a photograph that looked like it had been taken from a phone. Two massive wolves were standing in the streets of New York City, one a dark gray--Fenrir--and the other bright red--Váli. 

 

Cold adrenaline shot through Tony as he jumped to his feet. He turned back to see Loki sitting there looking panicked. “Loki?”

 

“This is bad.”

 

“Yeah, no shit. Váli’s in the middle of New York.”

 

“Right, that too.”

 

“That too?”

 

Loki finally got to his feet. “I don’t believe it’s likely that Váli will kill indiscriminately. Fenrir, however...” He fell silent.

 

“Ok, great, two really fucking dangerous wolf-gods out there. C’mon, let’s  _ go _ .”

 

“JARVIS! If you haven’t already, alert Peter and Wade.” Loki said.

 

“Already in progress, Sir.”

 

“And keep us apprised on the situation,” Tony included.

 

“I am afraid that will be difficult, Sirs, as Ms. Lokadóttir has left the phone behind.”

 

Loki swore and grabbed Tony’s arm, teleporting them to the Hel’s location. They rematerialized right as Steve and Bucky came running onto the scene.

 

“There’s  _ two _ ? What the fuck?” Bucky said, taking in the scene in front of them.

 

Fenrir and Váli were snarling and snapping at each other, and Tony was pretty sure the only thing keeping them from actually making contact was the bursts of ice that Hel kept tossing at their faces when they got too close to each other. Thankfully she was quick enough to dodge out of the way when one of the wolves turned towards her instead.

 

“Bucky,” Steve was speaking in his best Captain America voice. “Since we’re unarmed, you and I are on crowd control and getting civilians as far from here as possible.” 

 

Tony watched the immediate shift in Bucky’s stance as he took in Steve’s orders. “Got it,” he replied quickly.

 

“Loki--” Steve started.

 

“Save it.” Loki said, and in a flurry of green and gold he had donned his armor and rushed towards his children.

 

Steve let out a tense breath. “Tony-- Why are  _ you _ unarmed, Stark?”

 

Tony grinned, “I’m never unarmed, Cap.” With a quick--and hopefully difficult to replicate--series of taps to the Arc Reactor, the Iron Man Mark L bled free from it’s containment and swiftly covered his body. Steve just looked dumbfounded, “Nanotech is pretty cool, right?”

 

Steve just scowled, “You’re on air-to-ground support, Tony!”

 

“Aye, aye, Cap!” 

 

Tony was airborne and trying to get a handle on the situation when he heard Loki snarl, “Don’t you fucking shoot my children.” He looked down to see that Bucky had  _ somehow _ (hopefully peacefully) commandeered a pistol from a cop. However Bucky replied Loki seemed to accept it and returned his attention to the matter at hand.

  
  


**Peter**

 

Karen had interrupted their meal with word of “Giant Wolves” in The Bronx. Despite having spent the last day in the company of one giant wolf, the idea of two of them running around was dizzying. 

 

Of course, Wade didn’t share his own sense of anxiety about facing off against not one, but two gods. He didn’t think he’d ever seen Wade suit up so quickly. “Hey Karen, is there anything extra we should bring?”

 

“Like what?” Peter asked as he activated his suit, the vacuum pulling it tight to his skin.

 

“I don’t know, I’ve never fought a god before, Pete.”

 

“Captain Rogers and Sergeant Barnes are both unarmed.”

 

“Cool,” Wade grabbed two extra guns from his duffle bag. “Alright, let’s ride!”

 

Usually when Wade shifted to Deadpool it was  _ sudden _ and would send his Senses screeching in panic. But this time, for some reason, it was like he could feel the gradual shift as Wade clung to him as they swung across the city. Peter wondered if it was the situation, or if maybe he was just getting better at reading Wade.

 

His curiosity on the matter had to be set to the side as they dropped into the fight. “Which one’s the bad guy?” He called out, needing clarification as Fenrir grasped a moving car--with a family inside--in his jaws and threw it at the smaller wolf.

 

“Neither of them are bad guys!” Loki yelled as Peter webbed up the car between two buildings and leapt up to help get the family to safety. 

 

From his position Peter could see Wadepool passing off the two guns he’d brought to Bucky and Steve, before turning to face the wolves himself.

 

“Good doggy,” Peter said. “You’re looking a little  _ ruff _ around the edges. But don’t worry, this should only be a little uncom _ fur _ table!” He called, aiming a web at the red wolf’s face. He heard Tony sigh. Apparently their comms were on.  _ Oops _ .  A burst of fire covered where the webbing had caught in its fur, and it burned away instantly. “Oh sh-”

 

Gunfire rang out, and he could see the wolf flinch back as the bullet shot through its front leg.  _ Of course _ it was Deadpool that shot it. 

 

Peter hit the ground and had to cover his ears from the sheer volume of the frightening noises coming from Loki and his Giant children. “Buffers on, buffer ons!”

 

“Your sense deadeners have been activated, Peter.” Karen’s voice sounded far away. Good, that was much better.

 

He got back to his feet in time to see the red wolf break away from Hel, Fenrir and Loki and rush Deadpool. Deadpool landed a second shot in the leg before he was pinned under its giant paw.

 

“Bad dog, BAD DOG!” Peter yelled before a flash of white light covered Deadpool. Peter shot a Taser Web at the wolf, but it was barely fazed. It’s black eyes flashed white as its gaze locked onto Peter.

 

Whatever it was knocked him back to the ground. Something about it felt oddly familiar but he couldn’t place it. As soon as he was able to shake it off he ran towards Deadpool’s side. “Deadpool, you ok?”

 

Deadpool had recovered first, and it took a second for Peter to realize he was training a gun on him. A second too long for him to react properly. He  _ felt _ the intense burn lance through his shoulder before he heard the gunshot. Despite being in what Peter firmly put in his top three of “worst pains imaginable” he threw himself to the side when Deadpool cocked the gun again. The second and third bullets missed, but not by as much as Peter would have liked. 

 

“Deadpool, what the fuck?” He yelled.

 

Bullet four grazed his side. He knew Deadpool was a good shot, but  _ fuck _ . Using his good arm he was able to web the gun out of Deadpool’s grip, but it was immediately replaced by a new one.

 

“Peter, get the hell out of there!” Tony was yelling at him through the comms. “We can handle Deadpool!”

 

There was no way Peter was going to let that happen. 

 

He became aware that Deadpool was  _ silent _ as he stalked towards Peter, seeming undeterred by how easily Peter was ripping his weapons away from him. Although it was hard to tell under his mask, Peter was pretty sure Deadpool’s face was expressionless. He was fighting to  _ kill _ .

 

_ Váli’s curse _ ? Peter wondered. Was the red wolf Váli? That would make sense, and would explain how familiar the white light had felt.

 

He chanced a glance away from Deadpool to look for Loki, but he had his hands full blocking a chunk of asphalt from flattening Steve. 

 

Deadpool had taken his moment of distraction to unsheath a katana and he  _ almost _ managed to skewer Peter, who just barely dropped out of the way. “Sorry, DP!” Peter called before jumping up swinging, aiming his punch for Deadpool’s jaw. It had the desired effect, and he was down--knocked out.

 

But Peter had seen Deadpool wake up from getting shot in the head within minutes, so he doubted having his brain sloshed around his skull would keep him down for very long. “I got him!” He assured Tony as he webbed Deadpool as well as he could with one arm before throwing him up to stick towards the top of a nearby building. “I’m uh…” He blinked. “I’ve lost a bit of blood, so I’m gonna tap out,” he explained, feeling increasingly woozy. “I’ll… I’ll be nearby.” Hoping he wouldn’t actually pass out himself, Peter scaled the building he’d attached Deadpool to and collapsed on the roof.

 

“Hey, Karen, could my webbing work as emergency gauze?”

 

“I wouldn’t advise it, Peter.”

 

“Do you have a better suggestion?”

 

“There are three emergency rooms and--”

 

“Nope.” Peter grimaced. “How would I explain this to a doctor?”

 

“You could just explain that you were shot?” Karen suggested.

 

Peter huffed, “Would using the webbing kill me?”

 

There was a pause. “No.”

 

“Ok, cool, that’s what I’m going to do, then.” For good measure he also did his best to web up something of a cast to keep what  _ had _ to be broken bones from moving around too much.

  
  


**Tony**

 

Tony had  _ known _ getting Peter and Deadpool involved was a terrible idea! He was only slightly relieved when he heard Peter telling him that he’d neutralized Deadpool and that he was tapping out. That was one less plate he had to keep spinning.

 

Unlike the roosters, Váli was completely unfazed by his Grapple Chains, and had even melted the two that he hadn’t been able to just shake off. Loki, Hel, and Fenrir weren’t faring much better. Having to fight while trying not to injure him was greatly limiting their abilities. The only good thing he could say was that Fenrir was so focused on Váli that he was no longer interested in anything else.

 

It also looked like Steve and Bucky were doing a good job clearing out civilians, and keeping them away. There was a small crowd of people with no sense of self-preservation that kept trying to get closer to take pictures with their phones that seemed to be giving Bucky some trouble. 

 

“What part of “everything is on fire” are you people struggling with?” He heard Bucky bark at them. 

 

Tony turned back to the fight, relatively confident that they had the situation under control. He caught sight of Hel jumping up and punching Váli across the face, which only seemed to piss him off more.

 

He noticed Loki tensing before he caught  _ why _ . “Meteorological disturbances registering nearby, Sir.” JARVIS informed him just before a crash of lightning and thunder struck the ground.

 

Tony swore, certain that now they were going to have to deal with Thor entering the fray as well. But when the light faded Thor was nowhere to be found, and instead stood a woman with a golden feathered cloak. Although she moved towards the battle, it didn’t look as if she was interested in harming Váli.

 

She was able to shift around the battlefield as easily as Loki, except that she left flashes of gold in her wake. It took Tony a moment to realize she was moving in a roughly spiral rotation around Váli, and that as she got closer and closer he was starting to slow down. He was growling and snarling and seemed to only be able to pay attention to the woman as she advanced on him. 

 

He flew in closer, trying to get some idea of what she could possibly be doing. Magic, by the look of the golden haze that flowed around her hands. Once she was close enough to touch him, the effect was instantaneous. His form shrank and his fur receded into his body. Tony cringed and glanced away, he was never going to be ok with watching shapeshifting. 

 

When he looked back, her hand was on the shoulder of a young boy who looked no older than 8. He had long tangled red hair and black eyes and had never stopped snarling and growling. Tony had never seen something that looked human so full of rage and vitriol.

 

Suddenly Peter was yelling through their comms, “Mr. Stark, he’s doing something!”

 

The same flash of white light that had struck Peter and Wade appeared, now aimed at Loki. Without thinking, Tony let the suit  _ drop _ , placing himself between Loki and Váli, and intercepting the spell. Later he would claim that he knew the team could better handle taking him down than trying to fight Loki.

 

He wasn’t sure what to expect, but it hadn’t been a feeling of warmth and for everything to briefly turn a shade of light blue. He blinked and looked back in time to see Váli lunge at the woman who had apparently been watching Loki and him. He ripped the cloak away from her and disappeared in a burst of golden feathers.

 

Tony could hear Fenrir swearing up a storm. Hel just looked defeated. Loki ran forward and helped pull him to his feet, looking amazed. “Are you alright?”

 

After lifting his faceplate, Tony nodded. “Yeah, I’m good.” He was still looking sideways at the stranger who had fallen to her knees, sobbing. “Is she, though?”

 

Loki looked past him and went pale. “How?” He whispered, taking a step forward. Tony barely heard Loki say, “Sigyn?” before dashing over to her. He recognized the name from somewhere but couldn’t place it.

 

Tony followed quickly. “Sigyn!” Loki repeated, crouching down in front of the woman--Sigyn, apparently. “Are you injured?” He asked softly.

 

Confusion mixed with grief as she gazed up at Loki. “Who…?” she started, before recognition set in. “Loki?”

 

A flash of amusement that felt decidedly inappropriate given the circumstances. “Yeah.” 

 

He supposed he shouldn’t have been so surprised by how quickly the woman could move, wrapping her arms around Loki’s neck. “I’m so sorry,” she said against his shoulder. “It’s my fault that we lost him again.”

 

At Tony’s confused look, Loki held up a finger, signally him to  _ wait _ . Tony frowned, but nodded. 

 

“It’s not,” Loki insisted, gently pulling out of her grasp before helping her to her feet. “You were trying to help, there’s no way you could have--”

 

“You’re Váli’s mother.” Tony blurted out as soon as understanding clicked into place. Her name was familiar because Loki had mentioned her before. 

 

Sigyn blinked over at him, missing Loki’s annoyed look at having been interrupted. She didn’t reply until after she had taken a moment to get her tears under control. “I am.”

 

“Who the  _ fuck _ ,” Fenrir growled as he stalked towards them. “What sort of idiot brings fucking eagle feathers to--”

 

“Fen!” Hel chastised. Tony looked behind them. Hel stood in front of the wolf, unbothered by the way he snarled at her. “It wasn’t intentional.”

 

Fenrir had no problem simply stepping over his sister, his lips were curled back, exposing his sharp fangs.

 

Sigyn turned to face Fenrir, looking fond. “Hi, Fenrir.”

 

The wolf’s hackles lowered and he cocked his head in confusion. “Móðir?” He lowered his head, sniffing at her. “You’re the idiot?”

 

“I’m--”

 

“Móðir!” Hel bounded the last few steps. “It’s so good to see you. I wish it was under better circumstances, but…”

 

Tony turned away, feeling like he was encroaching on their reunion. His chest squeezed painfully and he did his best to ignore it. “Peter, you ok?” He asked into the comms.

 

There was a pause before he got an answer. “I’m alive. Is it over? What’s going on?”

 

“I think it’s over. Váli…” he hesitated. “I’m honestly not sure what just happened.”

 

He could hear something that was close to a laugh before Peter let out a not-quite stifled gasp of pain.

 

“Is he alright?”

 

Tony jumped, he hadn’t registered Loki coming up behind him. He muted his comm before answering, “No, I don’t think so.”

 

Loki nodded, glancing around and taking in the current situation. “I’ll go to Peter. You should go help Steve and Bucky, before one of them loses their temper dealing with civilians.”

 

“That’s not--” He stopped. Even from a distance he could see how tensely the soldiers were standing. He was confident Bucky wasn’t likely to snap, but Steve on the other hand… “Fair point. Yell if you need me.” 

 

“Loki’s heading your way, kid,” Tony said after reopening the line of communication. 

  
  


**Peter**

 

Peter glanced over the side of the building to see Loki coming to a stop below it, waving him down.

 

Deadpool thrashed in the net of webbing Peter had trapped him in. “Sorry, babe,” he said, pulling the net free from the building with his good arm and dropping him to the ground. The adrenaline was swiftly wearing off and the pain in his shoulder surged in to take its place.

 

Getting shot was horrible, Peter decided as he leapt down. He staggered when he hit the ground--a drop that should have been easy jostling his almost certainly shattered bones. Loki caught him, careful to avoid his injured arm, and kept him from falling to the ground.

 

“That looks really bad,” he said after a moment.

 

“Feels even worse.”

 

Loki cast a critical eye on his makeshift cast. “Should you have used your webbing for something like this?”

 

“It was that or bleed out,” Peter snapped. His eyes went wide and he started to apologize, but Loki didn’t seem bothered by his tone. 

 

“It was effective, if not ideal,” Loki said. “Would you like me to heal you?”

 

A burst of irritation flared up. “Why would I not want you to--” He stopped himself. “Yes, please,” he tried again.

 

Loki looked amused for a moment. “Tony has informed me that I should ask before using a spell on someone, rather than just assuming they would be grateful for my help.” Loki’s hand hesitated above his shoulder. “I need to touch it.”

 

Peter frowned under the mask and closed his eyes. “Ok. Do it.”

 

He couldn’t quite stop the high-pitched whine that escaped when Loki’s hand pressed against his shoulder. He clenched his eyes closed trying to ignore what was happening. But curiosity got the better of him and he followed trail of warmth that flowed around his arm. It was comforting, and he felt his racing heart slow back to a normal rhythm as the magic introduced an overwhelming sense of  _ calm-warm-safe-relaxed _ throughout him.

 

The sensation faded slowly, not quite leaving him even as Loki stepped back. “Test your range of motion for me.”

 

Peter nodded, trying to clear his mind so that he could focus as he rolled his shoulder and stretched his arm. If it weren’t for the fact that he’d been there, and had been in terrible pain less than a minute beforehand, he would have a hard time believing he’d ever been injured. “Thank you.”

 

“Can you do anything for him?” Peter looked over at Deadpool, who was still struggling against the webbing that now had him trapped against the ground. 

 

“I can try,” Loki moved with a sense of confidence that his words hadn’t held. He knelt down in front of Deadpool, placing a hand firmly against his masked head. Deadpool did his best to lash out, but between Loki’s strength and Peter’s webbing, he couldn’t get any traction. Loki closed his eyes and Peter held his breath for the several seconds--or was it minutes? Hours?--until there was a flash of green light.

 

Deadpool stopped struggling. Deadpool stopping being  _ Deadpool _ . It was  _ Wade _ gasping and trying to curl up into a fetal position. 

 

Peter dropped to his knees next to him, pulling apart the webs. “Wade, you’re ok, you’re ok, I’ve got you.”

 

Wade was shaking as he allowed Peter to pull him into his arms. “I shot you,” he said, his voice barely above a whisper.

 

“Just a little, I’m ok. Let’s go home.” 

 

“It was  _ not _ just a little!” Wade argued, but didn’t fight as Peter helped him stand up, leaning heavily against him. 

 

Peter looked back at Loki, “Do you guys need anything else? I can stay if--”

 

“Go home,” Loki said quickly. “Get some rest, you both need it.”

 

He nodded. His plans to head out briefly interrupted by Tony. “You two ok?”

 

“Yeah, we’re good,” Peter assured him. “Pretty sure my arm has never felt better.”

 

“Good. Great. I’m glad.” He looked towards the slowly scattering crowd of civilians and could see Tony giving him a thumbs up. “Are you heading home?”

 

“Yeah. We’re gonna go sleep for a week or two, I think.” Wade’s next breath almost sounded amused.

 

“Good plan. Do me a favor and let Loki know I’m heading home, too?”

 

“Are you hurt?” Peter asked quickly, earning a concerned look from Loki.

 

“No, no, I’m fine. Just...well, I think I could also use a week of sleep, thinking about it.”

 

“He’s fine,” Peter assured Loki before passing on Tony’s message.

 

“Home?” Wade asked softly.

 

“Yeah.” He flashed Loki a quick smile. “Thanks again,” he said before grabbing Wade more firmling and webbing them towards home.

  
  


**Tony**

 

As soon as Tony got back to The Tower he tapped out another code against the Arc Reactor, triggering the suit to return to its housing. Loki had helped him figure out how to manage that, even without Tony telling him what the project actually was. There may or may not have been magic involved, Tony honestly wasn’t sure.

 

He dropped onto the couch, bringing his legs up and tucking them against his chest. He let his head fall against the back of the couch, staring up at the ceiling without really seeing it. In the quiet solitude he was finally able to put a name to the  _ something _ that gripped his chest. Jealousy. 

 

Tony closed his eyes and frowned at himself.  _ You should trust him _ , he thought furiously at himself. After all, it was only a few moments after he stepped away from the family reunion that Loki had followed after him. He’d only heard her name the once, he was pretty sure. He thought back, trying to remember what Loki had said about her.

 

They’d been in The Tower for that conversation. Was asking JARVIS if he had any idea what Loki had said on the topic cheating? Probably. He’d said that she was Váli and Narfi’s mother, but there had been something else. 

 

He let out a long breath, deciding to worry about that later. When he opened his eyes it was to find that the sun had finally set. The day had been far too long already, and it was only now properly evening. 

 

Tony jumped when he felt the couch dip beside him. “Fucking hell!” He leveled a glare at Loki. “I swear I’m just going to stick a bell on you.”

 

Loki looked amused, “Sorry. I didn't mean to startle you.” 

 

“I don’t know that I believe that, with how often you manage it.”

 

“You’re just very unobservant.” 

 

“Shut up.”

 

Loki hummed and pressed a kiss against his cheek. “You weren’t hurt, were you?”

 

“No. Váli wasn’t the least bit interested in me.” He paused. “What about you?”

 

“Physically, I’m fine,” Loki offered after a moment. Tony gave him a curious look. “Váli escaping wasn’t really how I had hoped the afternoon would go.” 

 

Tony shifted, pressing himself against Loki’s side. “Yeah. Not exactly an ideal situation,” he agreed.

 

“And seeing Sigyn was…” he faltered.

 

His jealousy perked up, listening intently. “Good? Bad? Confusing?” Tony prompted when Loki didn’t speak.

 

“Painful.” 

 

That was probably the last thing Tony had expected him to say. “Painful?” He echoed.

 

Loki nodded, not looking at him. “Our marriage didn’t end on good terms,” he explained slowly.

 

Tony’s relief was followed immediately by guilt. Guilt because he should have trusted Loki to begin with, and guilt because even for a moment he felt  _ glad _ for something that hurt Loki. “What--No, sorry. It’s none of my business.”

 

“Do you think I brought it up not expecting you to have questions?” 

 

“When was the last time you saw her?”

 

He hadn’t expected Loki’s annoyed huff. He’d figured that was the least invasive thing to ask. “I don’t know,” he said after a bit. “At least a few hundred years.”

 

That was an absurd amount of time, Tony thought. He struggled to wrap his mind around it. How something that happened hundreds of years ago could be painful enough to leave Loki out of sorts, even now.

 

“What happened?” He asked before he could stop himself again.

 

“I knew you’d get there sooner or later.” Loki looked pensive, and Tony did his best to wait patiently as he gathered his thoughts. “Sigyn also witnessed Narfi’s death,” he said quietly. “We both saw Váli kill him, disembowel him.” Tony nodded, Loki had told him that much. Not that Sigyn had also been there, but that Narfi had died horrifically. “I told you that I was bound in that cave?”

 

“Yeah,” Tony confirmed.

 

“I wasn’t  _ just _ bound. Skaði. She used--” he faltered again. Loki’s breathing was far too shallow.

 

“It’s ok,” Tony said quickly. “You don’t need to… Bad shit went down, I get it. I don’t need any more detail than that.”

 

“I want to tell you.”

 

Tony barely kept himself from rolling his eyes. “No you don’t,” he said instead. Because it was painfully obvious that Loki would prefer to never speak of whatever happened.

 

“I want you to know, then,” Loki corrected. “And the only way for that the happen is for me to tell you.”

 

“Fine, if you’re going to insist. Take your time, though.”

 

It took a while before Loki attempted his story again, “She used Nafi’s… remains.”

 

Tony waited to see if Loki was going to continue, but he seemed to have hit another wall. Tony was less sure he actually wanted to  _ know _ what had happened. “To tie you down?” He asked.

 

Loki nodded. 

 

“That’s fucked up,” he offered, knowing that didn’t even begin to encompass it.

 

“Once I was bound, she brought in a serpent. I suppose seeing me tortured by a snake seemed like some sort of poetic justice to her and Odin.”

 

Tony bit back any interjection he had, not wanting to interrupt Loki’s train of thought.

 

“She left it on an overhang, positioned above me, and cast a spell to keep its fangs constantly dripping venom onto my face--into my eyes.”

 

“How long?”

 

“I have no idea,” Loki said. “There was no way to judge the passage of time there, and everything flowed together. I knew pain and periods of less pain.”

 

“Less pain?”

 

Loki nodded, glancing over at him. “Sigyn stayed with me. She couldn’t free me, but she was able to fashion a bowl from the stone. She used it to give me as much of a reprieve from the torture as she could.”

 

Tony let out a long breath. “And after Fenrir and Jǫrmungandr freed you?”

 

Loki looked a bit surprised to hear Tony correctly pronounce Jǫrmungandr’s name. And maybe he’d practiced it a little, what of it?

 

“Odin tore our family apart. As far as we knew, both of our sons were dead. He had locked away the rest of my children. It was so much…”

 

Tony nodded. “I get it,” he assured him. “I mean, more or less. I can’t really imagine what that would have been like.”

 

“Good,” Loki said firmly. “I don’t want you to know what it’s like.”

 

“So… you two went through all that and, what? She left you afterwards?”

 

“I would call it a mutual leaving,” Loki corrected. “We still loved each other, but, that level of trauma wasn’t something our relationship could weather.”

 

Tony’s incessant jealousy gnawed at him, sparking back to life with embarrassing speed. “Do you still love her,” he asked quietly, hoping he only sounded curious, but knowing from Loki’s expression too much of his own uncertainty had bled into his voice.

 

“Yes,” he answered honestly. “It’s not the same, but yes.”

 

He shifted away, no longer leaning as heavily against Loki’s side. “Oh.”

 

“Oh?” Loki replied. “Jealous?”

 

“No.” Tony insisted, knowing as he said it that he sounded unconvincing. “Maybe. I mean, you  _ did _ just tell me that you still love your wife.”

 

“Ex-wife,” Loki corrected, reaching over and cupping Tony’s face, pulling him back so that he was forced to either look at him, or close his eyes like a petulant child. He considered going with petulance more seriously than he’d like to admit. “Tell me something, Tony, do you still love Pepper?”

 

Tony bristled. “I-- What kind of a stupid question--”

 

“Answer me.”

 

“Of course I do,” Tony acknowledged, “but that’s different.”

 

“How so?”

 

Tony scoffed. “We weren’t married, we didn’t have kids, or--”

 

“But you were planning on it, weren't you? On both counts, I believe.” Loki’s expression was challenging.

 

“Yeah, I suppose so, but--”

 

“Do you have any interest in returning to that sort of relationship with her?” Tony immediately started to reply, but Loki shifted his hand, covering his mouth. “I want you to take a moment and think about that question very seriously.”

 

Tony frowned. He didn’t need to think about it. He loved Pepper, always would, she was one of his best friends. But no, he wasn’t interested in the idea. Even without Loki in the picture, he’d… Well, no, that probably wasn’t true. It was  _ because _ of Loki that he’d come to realize how flawed his and Pepper’s relationship had been. Being in love wasn’t the same as having a functional partnership.

 

He stuck his tongue out against Loki’s hand until he pulled it away. “I get it,” he said. “I love Pepper but she and I didn’t,” he waved his hand, trying to land on a good word. “We didn't  _ work _ .”

 

When Loki tilted his head to the side curiously, Tony couldn’t help but laugh, the expression was far too similar to the one Fenrir had worn earlier. “What?”

 

Tony shook his head, “Nothing, nothing sorry.”

 

The god narrowed his eyes, but didn’t press. “Can I ask you something?” Tony nodded. “It’s something I’ve been wondering for a while, but I could never figure out how to bring it up.” It was Tony’s turn to look curious. “Why  _ did _ you and Pepper separate?”

 

Tony’s smile disappeared and he pressed himself back against the couch. “Ah.” He said. “The short version is that I was a shitty boyfriend.”

 

He wasn’t sure how to read Loki’s expression at that. “What’s the long version?”

 

“We could probably be sitting here for a year if I tried telling the long--”

 

“ _ Stark _ .”

 

“Her uncle died, and I missed the funeral.”

 

“That doesn’t sound like you.”

 

“What? Getting distracted and missing important shit doesn’t sound like me?” Tony countered. He held no illusion that he wasn’t terrible about losing track of time when he was focusing on a project, everything else falling away from his mind.

 

“Failing to be there when someone needs you without a good cause. That’s what doesn’t fit.”

 

Tony shifted, uncomfortable. “But that’s what happened. I got distracted and-- It’s not like that was the only reason,” he explained. “It was just the final straw on top of a whole pile of straw made up of all the ways I’m--”

 

“Stop that,” Loki said, seriously. “Does this self-deprecation actually help?”

 

“No,” Tony admitted. “The point is that I’m a difficult person to be with. And that was the issue that she felt she couldn’t see past.”

 

Loki was frowning, though. “What distracted you?”

 

If nothing else this conversation seemed to be doing a good job of keeping Loki’s mind off of their previous topic. He stared up at the ceiling when he answered, “You did.”

 

“I distracted you?”

 

Tony refused to glace to the side to see Loki’s expression. “Thor dropped you on my doorstep and I  _ might _ have freaked out a little bit.”

 

“That’s understandable.”

 

“Yep. It was all good and understandable until it meant I locked myself downstairs and hyper focused on doubling every security measure I could think of to try to make sure you didn’t hurt anyone.”

 

It was several moments before Loki responded, “I’m sorry.”

 

“It’s not your fault that I became obsessive and lost track of time, Loki.”

 

“I still had a part in the situation.”

 

He finally glanced over, Loki looked honestly apologetic. “Alright. Apology accepted, then.” Then, “If anything, you should consider apologizing to Pepper, more so than me.”

 

Loki’s expression shifted to one of distaste, “I’ll think about it.”

 

That gave Tony pause. “You’ll think about it?”

 

Tony gave a quiet yelp when Loki shoved his legs off the couch so that he could roll over and straddle his lap. “You will pardon me, I hope, for finding the idea of apologizing to someone who hurt my mate when he was trying to protect them rather loathsome.”

 

“Pardoned,” Tony agreed. “Now get off.”

 

Instead, Loki settled, making himself comfortable. “Why would I want to do that?”

 

He let his hands drift to Loki’s waist. “Because we should probably find out where your kids are.”

 

“No need,” Loki pressed a kiss to his forehead. “They, along with Sigyn, are down on my floor.”

 

“Your… You mean the floor I stuck you in when you first got here?”

 

“Correct.”

 

“You still use it?”

 

Loki gave a noncommittal shrug. “Not really. But it was never otherwise assigned, so it’s still mine.” He paused, “I can ask them to leave if you’d prefer.”

 

“No, that’s not it,” Tony assured him. “They’re welcome to stay while we’re figuring out the Váli situation. But I feel like I should go down and check on them. And properly introduce myself.”

 

“You’re going to insist on doing that tonight, aren’t you?”

 

“Yes.”

 

Loki grumbled but shifted off of him. “Alright, let’s go.”

 

“You don’t have to come if it’s uncomfortable.”

 

“Sigyn and I are probably going to be seeing a lot of each other for the foreseeable future. I might as well start it off by being a good host.”

 

* * *

 

Outside of coming down to oversee the repairs on the main room, Tony hadn't returned to the floor since Thor had all but destroyed it in his quest to defend him. And, if he hadn't been so irate at the god lately, he might have even been able to think of the event with fondness, rather than indignation.

 

But it wasn't the first time, nor the last, that he'd needed to replace windows and furniture. The process was practically automated at this point. 

 

Stepping into the room still felt strange, for a reason he couldn't quite pinpoint. Fenrir was the first thing he noticed. While he was no longer his true monstrous size, he was still larger than a proper wolf by half. He was awkwardly splayed out along the couch, long legs dangling into the air, his breathing even as he slept.

 

Hel was curled up in an armchair, she half-heartedly nodded to them when they came in before drifting back to sleep. She hadn't bothered shifting her form at all, apparently more than comfortable with her pale blue skin and exposed musculature and skeleton. Which was good. He was glad that she didn't seem to have the same internalized disgust with her appearance that plagued her father.

 

His eyes tracked across the room before landing on Sigyn, who was sitting at the kitchen table, nursing a mug of what smelled like a spiced tea. She stood up as soon as their eyes met, and she walked around to grasp his hands in the same greeting Hel had given him the day before.

 

He reeled at the realization of just how much happened over the last two days. No wonder he was exhausted.

 

“Tony, right? I'm pleased to meet you.” The way she said it kept her words from feeling like oft repeated pleasantries. He got the distinct impression that she was honestly  _ pleased _ to meet him.

 

“You, too.” She released his hands and took a small step back. He was surprised by how much smaller she seemed, away from the heat of battle. She just barely came up to his chin, her golden hair was pulled back in long intricate braids, and he was certain that despite her wispy appearance she had the presence to command any room she stepped foot in.

 

When she glanced past him to Loki, he saw the same flash of recognition from earlier, albeit much faster. “Thank you for letting me stay for the night,” she said, looking back to him. “Would you like some tea? It's the least I can do.”

 

“Sure,” Tony agreed easily. “And you're welcome here as long as you need.” When she turned back to the kitchen to grab two more mugs me mouthed, “You ok?” to Loki. Loki returned his question with a quick shrug. 

 

“You're looking well, Loki,” Sigyn said, passing a mug to him as they say down. 

 

“I am well, all things considered.” Loki looked at her properly for the first time since they'd come downstairs, “Are you?”

 

“Things in Vanaheim have been tumultuous as of late,” she said. “News of Asgard's destruction caused a panic that has been difficult to quiet. I've heard rumors that you were involved.”

 

“I was there,” Loki conceded, “but I wasn't the cause.” His voice was tight as he defended himself.

 

“I didn't think you were,” Sigyn said soothingly. 

 

“Er, sorry,” Tony interjected, eager to keep the conversation as far away from painful topics as he could, “what's Vanaheim?”

 

“One of the nine realms,” Loki explained, “it is primarily home to the Vanir gods.”

 

“What are--”

 

Sigyn headed off that question with an answer. “We're the gods most known for fertility, wisdom, and our control over Seiðr.”

 

“Seiðr?”

 

She looked confused at his question. “I'm sorry. You don't know what Seiðr is?”

 

He glanced over to Loki, “Should I?”

 

“You used it earlier. It flows through you from one of Iðunn’s apples. How…” She trailed off, sounding frustrated. He got the impression he had unintentionally offended her.

 

“Sorry,” he offered. “But we're talking about magic, right?”

 

Her frustrated expression turned towards Loki. “Magic?” She repeated. 

 

“It  _ is _ magic,” Loki said easily. He caught Tony's gaze. “Seiðr is a specific type of magic, it draws its power from its practitioners and other organic life. It is used to weave things into being, working  _ with _ the nature of reality.” Loki closed his fist and when he reopened it a light blue flower unlike anything that he'd ever seen growing on Earth sat in his palm. 

 

“For comparison, your friend, Strange, uses Eldritch magic, which works in spite of nature, warping reality to its users wishes.”

 

Tony considered Loki's brief explanation, trying to understand. He was pretty sure he was too tired to properly grasp it though. “You said it's used to weave things into being, but I know I've seen you use magic to destroy things before.”

 

Loki nodded patiently, looking more willing to answer any questions he might have than Sigyn did, although her frustration seemed to have diminished seeing that he was trying to learn. “Just as I can weave something into being, so can I unravel its existence. Or, barring that,” the flower in his hand slowly wilted before bursting into flame. “I can introduce something else to destroy, if need be.”

 

He frowned. Although Loki's point had been well made, he knew Loki disliked using his fire like that. “Wait,” he turned back to Sigyn. “You said I used Seiðr earlier?”

 

She set down her mug, apparently having given up on enjoying the tea for the moment. “Yes. When you intercepted Váli's curse with your apotropaic ward.”

 

“With my what now?”

 

Loki smirked at him, “After all the fuss you kicked up when you couldn't figure out how to use magic, and then you didn't even recognize it when you managed it.”

 

“Shut up,” Tony muttered, his hand drifting to the metal chain around his neck as he thought. “Is that what that warm feeling was? And… I think everything went blue for a second?”

 

“That's was your Seiðr, yes.” Sigyn said happily.

 

“And was also incredibly reckless,” Loki scolded. “What the fuck were you thinking?”

 

Tony cleared his throat. He hadn't been, honestly, had just reacted out of instinct. “So, about that cloak.”

 

Loki looked thoroughly unimpressed by his attempt to change the subject.

 

“Yell at me later,” Tony insisted. “Didn't Fenrir say something about it being made from eagle feathers?”

 

“Yes,” Sigyn said. “Golden Eagles. They live on the outskirts of Valhalla.” Tony nodded, he remembered seeing those. “The cloak allows the wearer to travel great distances, and even between realms, with ease.”

 

Tony frowned, “Is that how you got here?”

 

She shook her head, “No. The cloak only works if you can direct it exactly where you want it to go, which usually requires you to have been there before. It was Thor who helped me arrive here.”

 

Loki grumbled at the mention of his brother. “Small favors, I suppose.”

 

Sigyn gave him a questioning look. “He sought me out and told me that you'd found Váli--that he was even alive.” She glanced between the two of them, “He failed to mention that you'd found a new partner, though.”

 

She didn't look or sound upset, but Tony still couldn't help but shift uncomfortably. Loki, however, barked a quick laugh. “Honestly, I don't think he's actually noticed.”

 

Tony couldn't help but zone out a little, thinking, only vaguely aware of their conversation about Thor, as Loki filled Sigyn in on their last few interactions. 

 

“Has Váli spent much time on Earth?” He asked suddenly.

 

“Not much,” Loki said slowly. “Never with us.”

 

“But the cloak only works if you've been somewhere before?”

 

“Not _ only _ ,” Sigyn corrected. “But for the purpose of what Váli could do with it, yes, effectively.”

 

He absently spun the pendant that hung from his collar. “Did he need to cloak to get around? Can't he Realm hop like Loki?”

 

“Not efficiently,” Loki explained. “He's young and that takes years of practice to master.”

 

“Well, do we have any idea where he’d go? Or could we try to track it?”

 

“Track it?” Sigyn asked.

 

“Sure. Its magic must give off some sort of signature, right? We can probably keep an eye out for it, at least on Earth.”

 

Sigyn looked impressed, “Aren't you new to using Seiðr?”

 

Tony didn't glance up, already mentally running through what all he'd need to try to track the cloak's movements. Sigyn had used it enough before it was stolen, maybe there would be a residual energy signature left over. 

 

“I'm not planning on using Seiðr,” he explained, his fingers twitching for a pen and notepad, at the very least. He finally looked back up, “You don't happen to have any kind of sample I could borrow, do you?”

 

“A sample? Oh!” She waved her hand, and Tony recognized the gesture as one Loki used whenever he was retrieving something from whatever aether he used to store things. She held out a golden feather towards him. 

 

“Perfect!” He gently took the feather from her and stood up, heading towards the elevator.

 

“Where are you going?” Loki asked.

 

“My lab, where else would I be going?”

 

“No you’re not.”

 

Tony stopped to face him, “Excuse me?”

 

“When was the last time you slept?”

 

“Last night.” He ran through the events of the day, “and then again some this morning. I’m good.”

 

“And then you underwent a dangerous medical procedure and fought a god. You  _ need _ rest.”

 

Loki was right, he needed to rest. But he also had too many ideas about how to go about tracking Váli to even entertain the notion that he might be able to sleep any time soon. 

 

“Look, I'm going to go start a scan on this,” he held up the feather. “And then I'll crash, ok? Ok.” Tony turned and was in the elevator before Loki had another chance to stop him.

 

* * *

 

Tony was, in fact, too exhausted to work. He set the feather carefully on the workbench and placed a glass case over it, to keep it safe. He asked JARVIS to start analyzing it to see what, if anything, they could learn about it, before collapsing on the couch he'd long ago shoved in the back corner of the lab.

 

“Hey, Dum-E, would you grab me a drink?” He frowned as the robot brought him a bottle of water. “I was thinking more along the lines of booze, buddy.” Dum-E beeped at him, and he'd swear it sounded concerned. Tony was definitely too tired for this.

 

With a sigh he opened the bottle and took a drink. Stupid robot, not letting him drown his stress without getting up. 

 

He closed his eyes. He couldn't focus on the feather, and most of the calculations he'd started upstairs had already faded by the time he'd gotten down there. He also couldn't get his mind to shut up, either. It kept playing back fragments from the last two days: watching Hel immolate the rooster, fighting in Valhalla, seeing Deadpool shoot Peter. 

 

Eventually anger bubbled up, but it was directly entirely at himself. He was angry at how easy it was to shake his confidence in Loki's feelings for him. He should be able to trust Loki by now, really. Trust in their relationship. Instead jealousy and self-doubt had no problem finding easy footholds in his mind, ready to bring everything he cared about crashing down around him.

 

Guilt reared its ugly head, gnawing at his stomach. He could trust Loki to replace his Arc Reactor, but not that he was being honest about his feelings?

 

Worse, there was no way that Loki wasn't suffering after the last two days--after the last few weeks, really. His own world had been so shaken that he was completely failing at being there for Loki.

 

His chest hurt. He reached up and pressed on the Arc Reactor. Making the pain something he could control. Something physical. He focused on that. Focused on how it made breathing harder. Knowing it was pressing against his lungs, his esophagus, his trachea, his heart. It distracted him from everything else, at least for the moment.

 

He pushed harder, until he his eyes were watering from the pain of it, until he was shaking from the lack of oxygen. 

 

He let go and let himself fall to the side, along the cushions of the couch. He gasped as his body screamed for air. 

 

“Ah. Was your plan to “crash” down here, then?”

 

He didn't even have the energy to jump when he heard Loki speak. A rush of cold adrenaline shot through him. How long had he been there? Had he been watching?

 

“Maybe.” He said, petulantly. He could always find the energy for petulance. 

 

He heard footsteps until Loki was in front of him, crouching down until they were more-or-less at eye level with each other.

 

“What?”

 

“I wanted to make sure that you were alright.”

 

“I'm not.”

 

“No, I saw that,” he said with a slight frown. “Come to bed, Tony.”

 

Oh good. Loki had seen him. He grunted and closed his eyes.

 

“You can't just sleep down here,” Loki said softly, “you won't get any rest on this couch.” When Tony's only response was to curl up, he continued. “I'll sleep better if you're up there with me.”

 

Tony cracked his eyes open, thought about telling Loki off for being manipulative. “Fine,” he huffed instead.

 

* * *

 

Awareness returned slowly as Tony woke. During the night he'd wrapped an arm around Loki, clinging to him. Their legs were tangled together and Tony smiled, deciding this was definitely one of the best ways to wake up.

 

“Morning,” Loki said, sounding more awake than Tony felt.

 

“Did I wake you up?”

 

“No. I've been awake. Didn't want to move.”

 

Tony hummed happily. “How're you feeling this morning?”

 

“Eh,” Loki said, noncommittally. 

 

“Eh?” Tony echoed. “What does “Eh” mean?”

 

Loki made a half-hearted attempt to move away, but all it took was Tony tightening his grip to still him.

 

“I don't know how I'm feeling,” Loki said after a moment.

 

“Do you want to talk about it?”

 

Loki was silent long enough that Tony had accepted that he wasn't going to answer. He was about to change the subject when Loki finally spoke. “It's my fault.”

 

“What is?”

 

“Everything.”

 

Tony grimaced, “I'm well acquainted with that feeling.”

 

Loki growled and easily rolled out of Tony's grip before sitting up. “It's not a  _ feeling.  _ I am objectively at fault.”

 

So much for a best way to wake up. “For what? What's objectively your fault?” He challenged. “And don't you dare say  _ everything _ .”

 

“Everything that happened to Váli and Narfi.”

 

Tony frowned. “Not according to the story you told me. You didn't kill Narfi. You didn't brainwash Váli. What happened wasn't your fault.”

 

“Baldr's death was--”

 

“An accident. Yeah, Odin blamed you, but he was the one who thought that the best way to punish you was to go after your children. That's entirely on him.” Loki just glared down at him, and Tony understood. Implicitly. Over the years far too many things had happened that others tried to convince him weren't his fault, but he almost never believed them. Even if he understood their arguments, they didn't change the fact that only he had acted differently…

 

“Everything is… too much,” Loki said, breaking Tony out of his ruminations. He reached down and held the hand closest to him in both of his. “I can't talk about it right now.”

 

Tony nodded, “Ok,” he agreed. “Do you want to talk about something else?”

 

“Like what?”

 

He thought for a moment, discarding most of the topics that flitted through his mind. “Why does Sigyn always do a double-take when she sees you? It's like she doesn't recognize you or something.”

 

A vague smile quirked at Loki's mouth. “Do recall that I'm a shapeshifter.”

 

“So… what? You used to look different?” He considered that for a moment. “But I've seen your--”  _ Not true form _ , he corrected before he said it. “I've seen when your glamour fails, and aside from the obvious you look pretty similar.”

 

Loki nodded, “This appearance is similar to how I looked as a child, when my form was entirely under Odin's control. But there was a time when I split away from the Æsir, and created a new _ self _ .”

 

“Can--” Tony stopped. The last time he'd asked something like that he'd offended Loki.

 

“You want to see?” Looking didn't seem offended. He seemed entrained, and probably happy for the distraction.

 

“If that's ok, yeah.”

 

Loki grinned as he reached over and covered Tony's eyes. He could feel Loki's hand shifting, calluses that accompanied hard labor appearing.

 

“Don't freak out,” Loki said quietly. It was still Loki's usual voice. 

 

“Why would I freak out?”

 

When Loki pulled his hand away two things struck Tony immediately. The first was that he was staring up into the same green eyes he was used to, the second was that this form made Loki look  _ human _ . He wasn't sure if Loki's usual appearance actually looked otherworldly to others, or if it was just because he was so familiar with his inhuman nature that he had learned to catch the small tells.

 

His usual sleek black hair was replaced by bright red curls that seemed like they were only barely subdued by the thick braids they had been wrestled into. Freckles dotted across his nose and cheeks, and across his shoulders. He looked strong, and the ease with which he could lift things several times his body weight seemed far less surprising.

 

But more striking than that was that this body held scars and tattoos. Tony reached out, hesitating despite how badly be wanted to run his fingers across the scar that dug into Loki's shoulder. 

 

“You can touch me,” Loki assured him easily, so Tony did. The scar on his shoulder was the worst, but smaller ones lived across his arms and chest. He ran his fingers along the scars that dotted either side of his lips before tracing the dark blue bands and green symbols he didn't recognize that dyed his hands, arms, chest, and one that crept up the side of his neck.

 

Curiosity got the better of him and he scrambled out from under the blankets, crawling over so that he could see Loki's back, where more of the dark green symbols and writings covered his skin. A series of runes, nothing even close to recognizable, trailed along Loki's spine, small and bright red in color.

 

“What do they say?” Tony asked, ignoring Loki's half-hearted complaints as he pulled the blankets off of Loki to admire the symbols and phrases and scars that decorated his legs.

 

“Lots of things,” Loki wore the same amused expression, and it kept his vastly different appearance from being quite as jarring. He caught the hand that had been trailing across his thigh and brought it up kiss his knuckles. “I can teach you sometime.”

 

“Tell me about a couple, at least?”

 

“This one,” Loki said, pointing at a symbol in green on his left side, “is the Valknut.” Tony looked carefully at the three intertwined triangles and how they overlapped until he realized it was one continuous shape. 

 

“Does it mean anything?”

 

“They all mean something. The Valknut is associated with Seiðr, specifically its usage in battle.” At Tony's interested expression he continued, “One can use Seiðr to bind or unbind an enemy. Their mind, their body, their emotions. You can unbind their fear, make them flee, remove control of their movements. You can weave rage and inspiration into those fighting alongside you, rally them and bolster their nerves.”

 

“That sounds kind of fucked up.”

 

Loki shrugged, “Only because it's not something humanity is capable of. If you were, don't you think your militaries would use every opportunity to create unfailing soldiers?”

 

Tony chewed at his lip, he knew the answer. He'd  _ seen _ the answer. “Yeah, they would.” On the other hand, given the nature of the sort of battles that the Asgardians fought, it was hardly surprising. Besides, like Loki said, humans would jump at the chance for such things.

 

“What about the red one? On your back?” 

 

“Ah, that one is Odin's curse.”

 

“The one that keeps you from being worshipped?” Loki nodded. “Are all of the tattoos spells?”

 

“Not all. Most of them. Others are more like,” he paused, searching for the right word, “they're more like prayers, or wishes, I suppose. Beseechments.”

 

“Beseechments?”

 

Loki pointed to the mark on his neck, “This is the Vegvisir, the wayfinder.” It looked something like an 8-spoked wheel, each spoke tipped with a different rune. “It is a symbol of protection and guidance, a desire to find the way back, if one gets lost.”

 

“Are we talking physically lost or metaphorically?”

 

“Either. The sayings told that the wearer of the symbol wouldn't lose their way, even if they didn't know their destination.”

 

“Does it work?”

 

Loki fixed him with a sly smile, “I don't know yet.” He reached over, pulling Tony into a kiss. It was strange, but not unpleasant. Loki smelled and tasted the same as ever, but the mouth against his felt different, foreign. Having apparently noticed his uncertainty, Loki pulled back. “Should I change back?”

 

Tony shook his head. This was weird, sure, but it was also Loki, and weird had become par for the course at some point. “No. You're you, whatever you look like.”

 

_ “Ek ann þér, Atrëlv.”  _ Loki said, laying back in the bed and pulling Tony after him, until Tony was hovering over him, braced between Loki's legs.

 

“ _ Ek ann þér, _ ” Tony repeated.  _ I love you _ . He remembered Loki teaching him that part. “What's  _ Atrëlv _ ?” 

 

Loki smiled, “It's Asgardian.”

 

Tony blinked, wondering if this was the first Asgardian word he'd gotten to hear. Probably not, with how often Loki would speak in languages that had never been spoken on Earth. “What does it mean?”

 

“You tell me,” Loki leaned up to kiss him again. “I've called you that a few times over the last two days.”

 

He thought back, trying to remember any names Loki had called him. “Mate?” He tried.

 

Loki frowned slightly, looking confused. “Mate?” He echoed.

 

Tony shrugged, “It's the only thing I could think of--”

 

“No, I just said it again.  _ Mate _ isn't a bad translation but it's… underwhelming.”

 

“How would you translate it, then?”

 

Loki's eyes lit up as he got an idea. “Can I show you?”

 

“Er, maybe? What does that mean?”

 

“Let me share the AllSpeak with you.”

 

_ That _ was an interesting idea, Tony decided, nodding quickly. Loki's hand came up, his calloused palm resting against the side of his face.  _ “I am yours as you are mine, Anthony.” _

 

Tony's breath caught. He could understand the words, or the intention, he supposed, that Loki spoke, but he could also _ hear _ words that were definitely not English. He hadn't recognized any of the words except for his own name, but the meanings were clear.

 

“Wow,” he breathed.

 

_ “It doesn't hurt you, does it?” _ Loki asked cautiously.

 

“No,” Tony assured him. “Might give me a headache in a bit but… what language is that? Asgardian?”

 

_ “Yes.” _ He could tell Loki wanted to say more, but he took Tony's warning that this was likely to give him a headache to heart, and didn't drag it out.  _ “Atrëlv.” _

 

He had been right about the headache. His vision went white at the edges as his brain tried to piece together the nuances and connotations of the word.  _ Partner. Companion. Mate. Lover. Spouse. Shield-brother. Family.  _ He squeezed his eyes shut. Behind the most prevalent concepts, a dozen more lurked, all tied to deep interpersonal corrections. Friendship, love, family, siblings, children.

 

When he opened his eyes again, he had partially curled up on top of Loki. “Shit, I'm so sorry,” Loki was whispering, running a hand along his back.

 

“What the fuck was that?” Tony asked, burying half of his face against Loki's chest. “How can one word mean all of that?”

 

“The AllSpeak,” Loki explained quietly, his hand still rubbing up and down his back. “The central idea is…” Tony could hear him struggle to define it, “An important person, or relationship.”

 

“And the rest?”

 

“Context. When I speak to someone with access to AllSpeak, the magic understands my intentions and relays the word appropriately.” 

 

He glanced up when he realized Loki was hesitant to continue.

 

“It didn't occur to me that not only were you unused to the AllSpeak, your mind might not even be capable of handling something like that.”

 

Tony frowned. Even if Loki was right, he didn't like being told he wasn't  _ capable _ of something. “So why was it just translating as  _ mate _ for me?”

 

Loki hummed, considering the question. “It's probably the word closest to my intentions.” 

 

“I got  _ spouse _ in there, too,” he pointed out.

 

He actually looked a bit embarrassed. “Don't focus so hard on the individual words. The point is the concept, not--”

 

Tony moved so that he could kiss Loki again. “I follow,” he assured him. “I’m super important to you.”

 

“You are,” Loki agreed. His next words broke through the levity of the moment, “Do you need to talk?” He asked, fingers drifting lightly over the Arc Reactor.

 

Tony flinched, but didn't pull away. “I… you mean last night?”

 

“Yes, but also in general.”

 

He frowned, “No,” he said. Talking didn't help. It wouldn't change anything. “I just need to deal with it.”

 

Loki's eyes narrowed, “Hypocrite.”

 

Tony groaned, but his attempt to roll off of Loki was much more easily interrupted by the god's arm around his waist. He sighed, resigning himself to the situation. “There's not really anything to talk about.” He reached over and ran his fingers through some wayward strands of Loki's hair. It was still unnaturally soft, and the sensation was soothing. “Things have just been… overwhelming, I guess.”

 

“How so?”

 

“What?”

 

“There are lots of ways for things to be overwhelming, love. I--what?”

 

Tony's whole body had gone warm at the pet name, he could feel the dopey smile on his face. “Nothing, sorry, go on.”

 

Loki returned his fond expression. “I just want to know what overwhelmed means for you, right now.”

 

What _ did _ it feel like? Awful, certainly. He'd been thrown headlong into a world that he'd barely accepted truly existed, only to find every part of it so much worse than he'd expected. “It feels like everything is outside of my control,” he said. “And, I'm not  _ used  _ to not having control over things.” He paused. “Not like this, at least,” he amended. Usually when things were going to hell around him, he could find  _ something _ to latch onto. Even if all it did was give him the illusion of control, it helped. But this entire situation was so far outside of his wheelhouse he didn't even know where to start.

 

Loki hummed an acknowledgment. “Can I help?”

 

“If you think you know something that--” Tony was cut off but his own undignified squawk as Loki rolled them over, pressing him into the mattress. “Is the plan to just fuck me until I stop thinking about it?”

 

“We can go that route, if you'd prefer,” Loki said, sliding the metal of Tony's collar between his fingers. “But I had something else in mind.” 

 

Tony didn't even manage to ask “What?” before Loki twisted his fingers and he could feel the metal pressing in around his throat. It wasn't cutting off his breathing, so long as he forced himself to keep taking long slow breaths. But keeping his breathing even was _ hard _ as anxiety lanced through him. 

 

“I'm not going to choke you,” Loki assured him. “Just trust me. You don't  _ need _ to be in control, I've got you.”

 

He wasn't sure if he could speak, so he just nodded fractionally. As soon as he did, Tony could feel his anxiety quell and he started to relax.

 

Loki smiled before kissing him. Tony shuddered as his breathing became restricted for a much more pleasant reason. Loki released his collar and deepened the kiss, his hand resting firmly on Tony's throat, pressing down only enough to make sure Tony was acutely aware of its presence.

 

“What are you planning?” Tony asked once he was able.

 

“Something fun,” Loki said as he crawled off of Tony. “You don't need to worry.” A rough hand gave Tony's stomach two quick pats. “Roll over for me.”

 

“Not worried,” Tony corrected as he obeyed, “just curious.”

 

Loki hummed and took his time positioning him. Tony's arms were stretched out in front of him, his head resting between them, his face tucked against one arm. Most of his questions about Loki's intentions vanished as he encouraged Tony to draw his legs up under him, leaving his ass easily accessible.

 

“Comfortable?”

 

Tony grinned against his arm and wiggled his ass, “Yep.”

 

Even though he'd expected that to earn a smack his breath still caught when he realized just how  _ different _ Loki's hand felt on him, doubly so now that he couldn't really see him. 

 

“Um.” He started, trying to figure out what, if anything, he wanted to try to say. He flinched when Loki's hand came to rest in his hip in what was probably supposed to be a soothing gesture. “Fuck. Sorry. I.”

 

Loki pulled his hand back. “Take your time.”

 

“You, um. You feel…” he struggled for the right word. He  _ knew _ this was Loki, but the feeling of unfamiliar hands on him did nothing to help him remember that. “I need to see you.” 

 

“Yeah, of course.” 

 

Even though Loki looked almost completely different,  _ seeing  _ him was grounding in a way that just feeling him wasn't. As soon as he was flat on his back Tony stretched his arms back out above him, and helped Loki drag a couple of pillows under his hips. Hopefully this would be a close enough approximately for whatever it was that Loki had had planned.

 

“Better?”

 

“Yeah,” Tony grinned. “So, what are we doing that I don't need to worry about?”

 

Loki smirked just as he felt a solid weight wrap around his wrists. Whatever it was didn't feel heavy, and he was pretty sure he wasn't tied to anything, but his wrists were still immobile, stuck to the bed. 

 

The thrill of nerves that accompanied that revelation was entirely pleasant and he buzzed with curiosity about what Loki was going to do.

 

“I  _ was _ going to blindfold you,” Loki confided.

 

“Mmm, sorry to mess up your plans.”

 

“Don't be,” Loki said seriously. “I  _ want _ you to mess up my plans if the alternative is you being uncomfortable.”

 

Tony blinked. “I know. I--” But the rest wasn't important. “Thank you.”

 

Loki gave him a fond smile before ducking his head down and licking and sucking at the bruise on his neck from where he'd bitten him the day before. Tony gasped and shifted but any attempt to get away from the  _ pain-pleasure-cold-sharp-unease _ was only half-hearted at best. 

 

“Good?” Loki asked.

 

Rather than verbally answering Tony tilted his head to the side, giving Loki as much access as he could in his position.

 

He could feel Loki smirking against his skin as he moved down, leaving a trail of wet kisses down his chest until, without preamble, Loki bit down on his nipple.

 

“Fuck!” Tony thrashed uselessly, unable to really move his arms, and pulling against Loki's teeth only made it hurt worse. 

 

“Not going to hold still, Pet?” Loki purred. More of whatever Loki had summoned to bind his wrists appeared, snaking over his arms, chest, and abdomen, rendering him functionally trapped. 

 

Loki bit down on his other nipple just as harshly. Tony swore but didn't jerk away--couldn't. He shivered as the reality of the situation set in.

 

“You're safe,” Loki promised him, “I'll take care of you.”

 

Tony's eyes stayed trained on Loki as he positioned himself between Tony's legs, gently spreading them open before more of the magical binding wrapped around them, holding him still. 

 

He could actually see the golden cord that wrapped around his legs. It didn't look nearly strong enough to hold  _ anything _ , but Tony gave a few experimental attempts to move, only to find the thread's hold unyielding.

 

“Color?” Loki asked after he finished testing the restraints.

 

He was trapped, tied down, helpless. In any other situation he imagined it would have been terrifying. But this was Loki, who had just promised that he was safe. “Green. A bit nervous,” he admitted, “but green.”

 

“Nervous is good.”

 

It wasn't until he felt a spell-slicked hand on his dick that Tony realized just how hard he was. He had to fight the urge to slide his eyes closed, because his brain refused to cooperate and remember that it was Loki and not a stranger slowly stroking him. He gasped at the feeling of rough skin swiping over the head of his cock.

 

Loki held his gaze, and the hand working his dick didn't falter as Loki's free hand moved down, briefly caressing his balls before steadily pressing inside him.

 

Tony couldn't jump, but he let out a garbled cry of pain and confusion. It wasn't that the intrusion hurt all that much, but that it hurt  _ at all _ . Loki's face was etched with concern. “Hurts,” Tony explained.

 

“Ah,” Loki looked apologetic. “I was too rough yesterday.”

 

“No,” Tony insisted, even as his mind swam. How could only 24 hours have passed since then? He let his head fall back--the only part of himself that he could move--and stared up at the ceiling. “If anything I got the impression that you were holding back.” 

 

When he looked back down Loki was looking at him through narrowed eyes. “You think so?”

 

“Ye--” Tony gasped as Loki slid his finger the rest of the way inside, the hand on his cock abandoning it to grip his thigh. “I know so.” Because apparently he didn't know when to quit goading.

 

“Maybe you're right,” Loki conceded, not giving him time to adjust before starting to thrust his finger. “Maybe you should be thanking me for my restraint.”

 

Tony let out a whine when a second finger joined the first. He briefly wondered if he should be concerned by how quickly and easily he found himself relaxing into the rough treatment. “Maybe I don't want your restraint,” he challenged, straining to keep his head up enough to watch Loki's expression.

 

Loki growled, shoving a third finger into him far too soon. Tony couldn't jerk away or writhe or do anything at all to get away. He clenched his eyes shut and his breathing turned to high pitched whines. 

 

“Still don't want my restraint?” Loki hissed. Tony's ass was empty and Loki's face was hovering inches away from his. When the hell had that happened?

 

“I want you,” he clarified. “Whether than means you're being slow and gentle or you holding me down and fucking me until I'm sobbing, as long as it's you, I--” Tony didn't get to finish his thought before Loki was kissing him, muffling Tony's desperate cries as he pushed into him.

 

“I  _ was _ planning to lean towards the former,” Loki informed him as Tony panted and shivered. 

 

“Yeah? What happened?”

 

“You taunted me.”

 

Tony snorted at his accusatory tone. “Right. I'll keep that in mind for the next time I want--” He winced when Loki shifted. “What are you doing?”

 

“Getting comfortable.”

 

“Getting… Are you planning to move at some point?”

 

“Eventually,” Loki agreed. “Not yet.”

 

“Well, I'm glad one of us is comfortable,” Tony huffed.

 

“Should I untie you?”

 

Tony didn't even have to think about it, “Not yet.”

 

Loki kissed the end of his nose, “Good boy. Be patient and trust me.”

 

While the position had been comfortable enough to begin with, as he was forced to stay unnaturally still it started to take a toll on him. His shoulders and hips protested first, aching and demanding the chance to stretch and flex. Compounding that was the building frustration of having Loki so close but not being able to  _ touch _ . 

 

“Getting restless, love?”

 

“Yes,” Tony admitted.

 

“Why didn't you say anything?”

 

Tony was pretty sure he was pouting, “You told me to be patient.”

 

Loki grinned before gently rolling his hips. “How does that feel?”

 

“Uncomfortable,” Tony said.

 

“Hmm.” Loki pulled out, barely more than an inch, before snapping his hips forward, earning a yelp from Tony. “And that?”

 

“Hurt.”

 

“Good hurt or bad?”

 

Tony frowned, drawing a blank. “I… do it again?” When Loki did, the decision was easy, “Good hurt.”

 

Loki looked relieved for a moment before thrusting into him, keeping his movements shallow, if not particularly gentle. 

 

When Loki started jerking him off in counterpoint to his thrusts Tony moaned his approval. 

 

His joints still complained, but that, and nearly everything else, faded away and became tertiary in his mind as his focus narrowed to the feeling of Loki moving inside him and Loki's hand on his dick. 

 

Only a few minutes later his eyes finally closed, “Fuck. Loki. Close.”

 

“Don't hold back,” Loki panted.

 

Tony came with a shout, cum landing hot on his stomach. Loki stroked him through it, releasing his dick just as the feeling became too much.

 

He glanced down in confusion when he felt Loki slip out of him. “You're gorgeous like this,” Loki purred. Tony could only manage a vague grimace when Loki started licking up his cum. “Not going to complain this time?” Loki teased.

 

“I'd _ really _ rather you didn't do this shit, but I'm tied up, what the fuck am I gonna do to stop you?”

 

“You like it when I make you deal with something you don't enjoy,” it wasn't a question. Loki smirked and the golden thread holding him captive disappeared. Tony let out a sigh as he was finally able to stretch and work some of the kinks out of his arms. He started to sit up but caught Loki's expectant expression and let himself flop back down. “Fine, do what you want, you fucking weirdo.”

 

“I promised to take care of you,” Loki murmured before finishing what he had started.

 

“What about you?” Tony asked as Loki rolled off of the bed.

 

“Unimportant. Shower?”

 

Tony frowned but got up and followed until Loki gently shoved him ahead. When he turned to give Loki a puzzled look, Loki had returned to his usual appearance. 

 

“Do you feel better?” Loki asked once they were standing under the spray of water and he was rinsing shampoo from Tony's hair.

 

“I don't know. I feel distracted. And my ass hurts.”

 

Loki laughed and he could feel Loki's healing spell work its way through him. There was the usual warmth, but it was accompanied by a breathtaking sense of  _ safe-comfort-love-calm.  _

 

“What was that?”

 

“What was what?”

 

“Your spell. It felt different.” At Loki's concerned look he hastened to continue, “In a good way! Usually it's just warm, but that was…” he waved a hand uselessly. “More?”

 

“How do you mean?”

 

Tony sighed, struggling to articulate it. “I don't know. It made me feel safe, and… calm, I guess.”

 

Loki looked at his hand curiously. “Interesting. I wonder what changed.”

 

“You didn't do anything different?”

 

“No. That was the same spell I've always used.”

 

Tony hummed, “We should test it then,” he said with a grin.

 

As soon as he caught on, Loki's grin matched his, “Yes, let's.”

 

“But for now,” he took a half step forward, wrapping his hand around Loki's cock, keeping the pressure light and teasing.

 

“Tony, I said that--”

 

“Shh. Jacking you off is self-care.”

 

Loki huffed a laugh, but made no other effort to stop him.

 

“Why do you hide your tattoos?” Tony asked, slowly tightening his grip. 

 

“Because--fuck,” Tony had swiped his thumb across the head of Loki's cock. “Because it's all or nothing.” He managed. “I don't like--don't like some of the scars.”

 

Tony nodded, he could understand that all to well. He dug his free hand into Loki's hair and pulled him down for a searing kiss. He swallowed Loki's moans as he sped up, Loki's hips stuttering into his hand. 

 

They stayed like that, kissing fiercely while Tony worked him until Loki was panting and whimpering against his mouth, his hands roving over his body, clinging to him. “Fuck. Please. I need…” Loki whined, apparently not sure _ what _ he needed.

 

But Tony had an idea. He broke away from Loki's desperate kisses and bit down on his shoulder, right where he now knew a deep scar was hidden. Loki keened with his release, and Tony didn't stop touching him until he finally jerked back a little. He pressed an apologetic kiss onto the rapidly fading bruise.

 

“See? Self-care. I feel much better now.”

 

Loki snorted and cooperated easily as Tony positioned him under the spray of water to start washing away the sweat and cum from their bodies.

**Author's Note:**

> Tumblr: [@Wolfloner-Official](https://wolfloner-official.tumblr.com/)  
> Twitter: [@Wolfloner1990](https://twitter.com/Wolfloner1990)  
> Discord: Wolfloner#9177  
> [Frostiron Discord Channel](https://discord.gg/UYDkNYe)  
> HMU if you wanna chat or w/e. :)
> 
>  
> 
> Up next:  
> Going to return to Kinktober (now Kinkvember, oops).  
> More FBiNS yay. Not sure if the next part will be SpideyPool or FrostIron. Lots of unpack for both of them.


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